Ok, so I'm not one who likes confrontation and I definitely don't like it when I have to confront someone. I prefer to just ignore the drama or better yet, avoid it all together. So you can imagine that I would rather do anything else than have to confront my roommate. Don't get me wrong, she's nice enough, I can sleep with both of my eyes closed at night but she has no clue about the manners and courtesy of living with another person.
It wasn't that bad last semester. She would party ALOT but she wouldn't bring it back to our dorm. I don't mind if she doesn't come in til 3:30 AM as long as she doesn't wake me up. I don't mind if she sleeps through her classes as long as she lets me get enough sleep at night so I won't miss mine. But this semester... her philosophy has changed. She keeps saying she wants to clean up her life yet she is still coming in at 3:00 in the morning but she is waking me up in the process by turning on all the lights and slamming the door.
But here's the major problem... instead of going out to socialize with her friends, she is bringing them to the dorm. I went home for the three day weekend and she had some friends over (and her boyfriend). They were supposed to be gone by Monday but they ended up staying the night. Well, I came walking in the door monday and the room was not in the best condition. Suitcases and pizza boxes were all over the room and on my bed. My desk had been moved around, my sodas in the fridge had suddenly disappeared and someone obviously slept in my bed. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to in front of her company (they are still here as I'm writing this blog by the way). And I do have an 8:00 class on Tuesdays so I didn't appreciate the movie in the background til about 2:00 in the morning.
I just want some respect, is that too much to ask for? I would definitely appreciate some advice on this one... how do I get that respect without her getting angry and offended?
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It is good that you don't want your room mate getting angry or offended, but I think that should be the least of your your concerns at the moment. First of all, I would probably just ask nicely if she would mind stop taking the party in your room because she doesn't have the room to herself, especially while you're there. Or even on another note, if she wants to party in your room, at least ask her if she could clean up the mess she made and that your items be left alone. If said in a nice way and she gets offended, then she has a problem. As long as your are nice about it, then she doesn't have a right to become angry, she is the one at fault anyway. And if the problem persists, then you can always either move out or get the staff to get her out. I hope this was somewhat helpful
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with telling someone you don't appreciate the way they're acting especiallly when it affects you. But the key is that you do it while being considerate and respectful to them. So here's my advise: Talk to your roommate. She may not even be aware how some of her more recent decisions are affecting you. And plus if you don't confront her about it, then it can only get worse, especially if she doens't think anything about the way she's acting. Sometimes you just need someone else to tell you what's up.
ReplyDeleteI think that you guys should just talk things out. You both share the room and it's just not right for you to make all the sacrifices. You should definitely let her know how you feel. She will not know what you're thinking until you let her know what's bothering you. If she continues to behave like this then I think the best option would be to let your RA know about this. I'm sure there's something that he/she can do.
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